My sweet R + V,
You have indescribably turned my world upside down and brought light into the depths of my soul. You have opened my eyes and mind to emotions and lessons I knew nothing about before. You’ve taught me about strength, fear, solitude and purity.
People say it all the time, but you truly do not know love until you become a Mother.
From the moment we heard the words, “there are two little girls in there”, I felt an instant connection to you.
You are gifts sent down from heaven, from your Nana and Papa. They had a special meeting with God and asked him to spend a little extra time creating the most beautiful blessings – and then he sent me you.
I will never forget the first time I felt your tiny kicks. It felt like little butterflies fluttering around in my belly. And although you were only the size of oranges, you let me know you were there.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I prayed every single night. I rubbed my belly and prayed to God, asking him to keep you safe and to help guide me to be the very best I could be for you. I told him that I would sacrifice anything and everything to ensure that he would place you both safely into my arms and make me your Mama.
I will never forget the first time I heard your tiny voices as you came into the world. Your Dad squeezed my hand, and in that moment we sank into the purest, most beautiful bliss.
You were finally here.
There are so many things I want for you. There are so many things I want to be for you. I may not always be here physically, but you must know that no matter where I am, I will always be in your hearts. My heart beats inside of you. I will never settle for anything less than the very best for you, and I will never rest until you are safe and content.
There are some thoughts I want to share with you, to help guide you in life. If for any reason I’m no longer here to physically guide you, I always want you to have this to look back on. These thoughts have stuck with me throughout my life, and have done me a lot of good. I hope they can do something for you, too.
Life is beautiful, but not always.
You will experience hardships in your life. Regardless of the magnitude of the situation, you must dig deep into your soul and be your own advocate. Be your own best friend. If roles were reversed and your best friend needed your guidance and asked what you would do, what would you tell her?
You would tell her to be strong, that everything would be okay and she’s better than that. You would tell her to be confident and to stay focused on the positive. You would tell her that the sun always rises, and there will be another day; that this is just a moment in time, and it will certainly pass.
This is what you must tell yourself.
You owe it to yourself to be your own best friend and take care of you first. Be strong, be smart, be cautious, and understand that sometimes it’s okay to be a little selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself.
You must be the best version of you for yourself first, if you’re going to be the best version of you for others.
You have no idea what is going on in anyone else’s life, so choose compassion first.
If someone is mean to you, there is usually a reason.
Maybe that girl who’s been picking on you lives in a house with no heat or running water. Maybe that boy who’s been teasing you is craving attention from parents who aren’t there. Maybe that girl’s Mom or Dad is abusive, or she’s been hungry for days. Maybe that little girl just lost her Mom or Dad, and doesn’t know how to cope. Maybe that little boy just moved here, and doesn’t know any one or made any friends yet.
Maybe that lady’s husband is abusive. Maybe that guy that just cut you off on the highway is trying desperately to get to the hospital to reach his family. Maybe that woman just lost her job, and needed that paycheck to put food on the table for her children.
You do not know what anyone is going through, so choose compassion over judgement.
Take a walk in their shoes.
Is it fair to have someone take out their emotions on you? No. Do you deserve it? No. Can you be the one person who was nice to them that day? Yes, you can. And you should.
Be that one person who smiles, and holds the door. Be that one person who responds with, “Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.” Be that one person that reaches out to the person sitting alone and offer them to come sit with you and your friends.
I know you will.
Be patient.
If I can teach you anything at all, it must be patience.
We live in a world that thrives off of instant gratification. Everyone is running, rushing, to get where they need to go. No one “has time” for this or that. People put things off; meetings, due dates, phone calls to family members, hangouts with friends.
But you can’t put things off forever, and trust me – you don’t want to. You put it off, put it off, put it off and then in the blink of an eye, you’ve put your whole life off.
Be patient, and trust the process.
For years now, I have made it a point to really stop and look around; to really live in the moment. Once Nana and Papa went to heaven, a lot of things were put into perspective for me. I realized that the “big” things weren’t so big, because I didn’t let them be as big as they seemed.
Have patience with your friends, have patience in trying situations, have patience with yourself. Mistakes are okay, and you’re going to make many. Life will go on, I promise you that. People in your life will make mistakes, too, and you cannot expect them to handle things the way you do. You cannot expect people to be as strong as you are. You owe it to yourself to keep a clear, open mind. Getting stressed out and worked up will do nothing for you.
It’s very difficult to find people who are patient with themselves and others; be one of those people.
Be present.
It’s very easy to get wrapped up in other peoples lives on Instagram and Facebook (or whatever social media sites that will be current when you guys are teenagers). The girl modeling in different cities, the girl who has 5 million followers, all those famous people living luxurious lives.
You know what people really matter? The ones right in front of you.
We’re all missing so much of our lives simply by looking down at our phones. There are way too many beautiful things about life to be wasting away, living vicariously through other people.
Most of the time now, I make it a point to leave mine and your Dad’s phones in the car when we take trips, or make sure to put our phones away when we have meals or are spending family time together.
Don’t let special moments, or even normal daily moments in your life slip away by paying more attention to irrelevant things on social media. Have a conversation, make eye contact, and really learn to live in the moment.
The world doesn’t revolve around you.
A lot of parents may tell their children the opposite. But the thing is, I don’t want you to grow up with a sense of entitlement or find yourself swallowed up by disappointment when things don’t go your way.
I want you to work hard; really work for what you want. I want you to challenge yourself, and reach – really reach – for the stars. I want you to lead, not follow. I want you to march to the beat of your own drum. I want you to understand that things are not going to be handed to you, but that you need to go out and get them yourself.
If you want something done right, do it yourself.
Lead by example; don’t talk about what you’re going to accomplish – just accomplish it, and let your success speak for itself.
Be someone that you would be proud to know.
Don’t take life too seriously.
There will never be a time where you “aren’t good enough”. You will have moments where you feel that way, but it will never actually be true. To me, and all those around you, you will always be good enough. Even if you fail.
You will have bad days, bad experiences, and times where you feel like things will never get better. But you know what? They will. They always, always do.
Throughout my life I have had moments where I thought my life was over, and looking back now I’ve realized that that’s exactly what they were – moments. Moments that felt like an eternity, but only because I allowed them to. I have learned to remind myself in any bad situation that it is simply temporary, and life goes on.
I always remind myself that one day I’ll be 90, looking back and kicking myself for getting myself so worked up over things – things that seemed so big in that moment, but really weren’t that big at all. They’re simply speed bumps in life – look at them as little lessons, learn what you can from them, and leave them in the past.
When things get tough, remind yourself of the good things and what you have. Write out a list of 10 things that make your life great. Once you’ve done that, take a deep breath, and move on.
I promise to never tell you who you’re going to be.
Your existence is comprised of a beautiful soul that you carry in your heart. It is going to take you many places, and you will change colors many times before finding out who exactly you want to be.
I will never tell you that you can’t be who you are. I will never fight you when you want to start a trend or dare to be different. I will always support you and whoever or whatever you choose to be.
It is not my place to control your life, I am simply here to guide you and support you down each path you take. I promise to always see things from your perspective and take your side, first.
I will always celebrate your drive and enthusiasm, and encourage you to take chances.
To me, you will be perfect no matter who you become.
Always remember how madly in love I am with you.
I am your Mom.
I am your best friend. Right now, you are only a year and a half old, and you are the best friends I’ve ever had. When you wrap your little arms around my neck, my heart explodes into a million pieces. I cannot even imagine how beautiful our relationship will be as I continue to watch you grow.
I think the entire world of you.
To me, you’re like every celebrity in the entire world combined into two absolutely incredible little people. I will always cheer you on, I will always be in your corner, I will always squeeze you when you’re sad/happy/angry/silly/chilly/excited – you name it.
You will do great things in life; whether you choose to be an artist, an engineer or a CEO, I believe in you.
Right now, I am proud of you for throwing the ball and turning the pages of your books. I can’t imagine how proud I’ll be when you actually start achieving and accomplishing big kid things.
Always believe in yourself; be confident, be strong, be bold, be independent.
I will be right here for you, every step of the way.
Xoxo,
Mama
Choose . Happy 