The Apple and The Tree

Another deadly shooting.

Another devastating event, ruining hundreds of lives, that has us up late with our minds racing.

These days, you’re more likely to see something devastating like this on the news rather than anything positive. How sick is that?

How sick is it that we are all TERRIFIED on a daily basis, that tomorrow, it could be us. It could be you or I. At school, in a store, at a concert, walking down a busy street, on a bus – we’re constantly wondering if we’ll be next; what devastating event will happen next.

And this is the kind of world we live in now? This is kind of world I’m supposed to raise my children in? I get crippling anxiety thinking about how if (God forbid) something happens to me, my children are left to grow up and fend for themselves in this type of world.

I’m supposed to be excited for my children’s future; excited to see them excel in school, and watch them grow.

How can I be excited, when I turn on the news to learn that the 18th school shooting (within just two months) took place yesterday? I cannot even begin to fathom the darkness that has plagued the hearts of these parents.

We can read article after article, ask question after question, watch the news updates for hours – but we’re all still left wondering, “Why?”

I am a firm, firm believer that the media plays a massive role in the way society is today.

Social media is wonderful for being able to connect with long lost family and friends in an instant. It’s incredible for creating awareness and utilization for fundraising and relief efforts for various causes. It is extremely useful for obvious reasons, allowing the world to function in beneficial ways we’ve never seen before.

But I also believe that the media has a dark side.

Children as young as 5 years old are able to “express themselves” on social media. Young children are able to “Google” things; words or actions that they will be able to view, but not even remotely understand. They’ll then show their friends at school, subjecting more kids to things they normally wouldn’t learn about until their teen years.

For (a totally random) example, the Netflix series ’13 Reasons Why’ was huge this past year, bringing awareness to suicide prevention and bullying. A young child hears about this movie and does a quick search on the internet, curious about the show. They type ‘suicide’ into Google, and are then immediately subjected to videos and images that their minds will not even be able to process, but it’s deep and terrifying for them.

Should we shelter our children from the “scary” things of the world? Absolutely not.

But unfortunately, not every child has a parent that will be able to properly and supportively guide them and appropriately teach them about things like this. Thus, children are being exposed to things that their minds cannot process, leading to behavioral changes that they aren’t mentally capable of managing.

And this has major lasting negative effects.

Not every child has a parent that will teach their child that the purpose of ’13 Reasons Why’ is to create awareness in effort to prevent suicide – not to glamorize it.

Social media is an incredible tool for raising awareness for positive organizations and acts of kindness. But something else social media is good at raising awareness for, is fear. And this plays as a motive for those who choose to partake in terrorism. They know that their name will be plastered across news stations everywhere, and they’ll become “famous”.

[Personally, I don’t think we should give them the time of day by sharing their picture and story on the news. It’s as if these individuals who perform acts of terror are given a sort of ‘satisfaction‘ when they see fear stricken communities in the media – this is simply my opinion.]

Imagine what kind of a world this would be if the news and media were used solely for positivity? If everyday you read about something heroic or inspiring; something that made your day.

Don’t get me wrong – utilizing media to seek help from the community to find a criminal, end a manhunt, create awareness for safety, etc. is something I stand behind (obviously).

Rather than becoming isolated from society and giving up hope on the good in people, we need to consistently remind ourselves that there ARE good people out there – you’re one of them.

It’s those who still hold the doors for people behind them. Those who lend a hand to the homeless person on the side of the road. Those who volunteer endless hours at charitable events. Those who still stand to give up their seat for the handicapped or elderly.

We must focus on these types of people, and not let the negative social media highlights tarnish our vision of the beautiful country we live in. We’ve become cold toward, and afraid of, our very own neighbors, and it’s wrong.

There’s that constant begging question of, “How could anyone possibly do something like that?” “How are these people so evil? It’s like they have no soul.” “What kind of person could do something like this?” “What is wrong with the world?”.

I find that it is easier to cope and manage emotion when you understand the root of the cause; if you attempt to understand “why”.

It all comes down to the apple and the tree.

All children are born equal. They are born with a clean slate; a canvas of innocence.

They do not know bad from good, mean from nice, respectful from disrespectful. They do not know racism, terrorism. They do not know discrimination.

They do not know, until their parent teaches them these things – or until their parents don’t. Their parents either teach them wrong from right, or they don’t. Children are either raised with love and respect, or they are neglected and forgotten – to grow up without guidance.

There are ZERO excuses for terrorism, or the ugly crimes that are being committed. That goes without saying. However, when someone acts out negatively, it’s important to understand where the hate stems from, to alleviate the pain of the state of confusion and darkness we find ourselves in.

People are so quick to judge and dismiss each other, without attempting to understand or use compassion.

By choosing to understand the root of the cause, DOES NOT dismiss the behavior (my God, that goes without saying – and I hope no one dares to confuse that statement with one that implies that lack of mental health dismisses terrorism).

We need to start realizing that not every person had a perfect childhood. Not every child has a pair of loving parents. Not every person had a solid, quality upbringing like you did. Not everyone shares the same morals or mind set that you have.

Changes. Need. To. Be. Made. This is blatantly obvious.

YES – major changes need to happen in specific areas within this country, within higher power that is out of our immediate control.

But what IS in our control, is how we are raising our children. How we are implementing, “See something, say something“. How we continue to practice AND preach, “Love WINS“.

The sooner we learn to understand the motive behind the behavior, we can start making effective changes – beginning with how we are raising our youth – and chip away at the hard line that divides us; creating a brighter, and I pray to God – a more unified future.