We. Have. All. Done. It.
Looked over at another Mom and had those “judgy” thoughts in our heads, going over all the ways that we could do what they’re doing better.
Before kids, I had all these fairytale notions about the picture perfect Mom I’d be; no screen time, no pacifiers, organic errythang, 3 different languages by age 3 – the mystical list goes on.
But reality slapped me real hard when two babies [who turned into two crazy adventurous monkeys] were plopped in my lap.
There have been a handful of things that I have somehow been able to follow through with but let me tell you, at the end of the day over here, our motto is “Whatever works”.
What. Ever. Works.
Honestly, I don’t even know how people have the time or mental space to be worrying about what other Moms are doing with their kids. I’m so worried about my own kids – eating, sleeping, biting, blinking, breathing – I don’t even have a minute to look to see if Sally is over there cutting her grapes and blueberries in half.
There have been so many times where I’m like wow, they probably think I do [this, this, and that] all the time and start judging me based on what I’m doing. Example: I don’t have sweets in our house; we do fruit as dessert and on occasion they’ll get chocolate chip Mickey pancakes. I’m not damning those who give dessert at home, I just choose to avoid it – for now.
Anyway, when we go to restaurants or birthday parties, I let them go buck-wild and get whatever their little hearts desire. When we’re at a restaurant and they’re eating ice cream, I can feel the eyeballs rolling all around me – I can imagine the thoughts racing through all the busy-bodies’ minds. These people have zero idea that the most sugar my kids get at home are strawberries.
Ahh, the iPad epidemic. The horror! Listen, BOTH of my girls have an iPad. However, the only thing they use them for is ABC Mouse, or the matching/color/number learning apps that are on there. We do not use them at home, only in emergency situations (like Mommy needing to eat food for 5 minutes before she passes out). But you bet those eyeballs be rollin’ when my kids are eating ice cream WHILE using their iPads. IMAGINE! And again, these parenthood critics have zero clue that my kids don’t see either of these things except maybe 1-3 times a month.
Point is, you can’t please ’em all. I’m not going to turn around and sheepishly explain myself to irrelevant people I’ll never see again. Your food must be that gross or your company that boring to the point where what my kids are doing is more interesting to you. We’re naturally alert to what people think of us because we are only human but as Moms/parents, we really need to shake that off because there will ALWAYS be at least one person that has something to say, and I’m just not here for that noise.
It’s so easy to cringe a little bit while scrolling through social media when you see something a Mom is doing that makes your eye twitch a little bit. But guess what? You have ZERO clue what their home life is like.
Some kids are just born easy; born easy sleepers/eaters, no issues, love life and everything that comes with it. But not ALL kids. Some are picky, some are moody, some need extra snuggles, some just. won’t. sleep. So before being like, “well, you should’ve put them on a sleep schedule from the start” take a step back and tuck your opinion back into your pocket because no one asked and no one cares. Some of us haven’t slept in three years so BACK OFF, Sally.
We are all doing exactly what we need to do to literally survive and keep the kiddos alive. That’s all there is to it. No one intentionally hurts their kids or wants bad things for them (I mean, there are some devils who walk the earth but we won’t go there). We all love our babes with everything we have. We’ve gotta team up and lift each other up, which I do honestly feel like the world is doing a lot better at. Aside from the psychopaths who infect social media with negativity because they’ve got nothing better to do, most of us have hopped on the positive support bandwagon – and it’s awesome.
Another Mom came up to me today at the play place we were at and literally gave me a high five – just because I have twins. She commended me for raising two babies at once and “making it to age 3”. Amazing! It literally made my day. I feel like there’s an unspoken understanding between us Moms, we just know when someone needs a high five, and I guess today was my day!
Straight up – minding our own Mom life isn’t just beneficial for the other Moms in the world, it’s what best for us and our Mom-sanity. Since having the girls, it hasn’t been so much about “judging” for me, it’s more so being concerned about every other child around the world.
I am that Mom that kind of freezes and heart sinks to the center of the earth when there is a screaming child at the store. I can’t think about anything else, I just want to go pick them up and rub their little backs and tell them it’s okay, and also give them a snack (is that creepy?). With all the sickening stories in the news, and the occasional child abuse you see in society firsthand, it literally got to a point where it was consuming me; I was so sick to my stomach on a regular basis worrying about the less fortunate children, how kids are being raised these days, how some kids don’t even get ONE single hug a day. But it came to a point where I had to mentally stop myself from allowing these thoughts and concerns into my head because I was drowning in them. I am doing the absolute BEST I can for my babies, while donating to great causes for other children when I can, and that is all I can do.
We have enough to worry about, let’s not add yet another uncontrollable worry to our plates. Feel empowered. Stop questioning if you’re good enough because [you are]. You are those babies’ entire world; you are irreplaceable. The pressure of Mom life is IMMENSE, but keep reminding yourself that we are all in this together. Keep up the great work at being the best Mama you can be – that’s the best you can do and it. IS. enough.
Choose . Happy 