So here I am, nearly 28 weeks pregnant, JUST writing my first blog post about my pregnancy. *Shaking my damn head*. I had all these elaborate plans for when I got pregnant again; I was going to take the cutest milestone pictures – starting super early, I wanted to start a VLOG, I was going to post my mini pregnancy workout videos including the girls. BUT here I am – tip toeing into my third trimester, and I’ve maybe taken two milestone photos, to date. Cool.
I’ll try to rope it all into a nutshell. I’m mainly doing this so I can look back and remember what this whirlwind was all about, since I slacked big time documenting the girls’ pregnancy, too *shocker*.
For the longest time, Matt and I literally went back and forth CONSTANTLY about whether or not we wanted more babies. One day he’d want more and I wouldn’t, and then the next day I’d get baby fever and he’d be on the fence. It’s just that when you have two at once, your hands are so damn full that getting pregnant immediately just isn’t the first thing on your list (or maybe that’s just me). And honest to God, time has never flown faster. I always said I wanted all of my kids by 30, and all close together in age. Well, here I am, 30, pregnant, and possibly wanting more after this one.
As the girls were getting older, I kept telling Matt that time was flying by and explaining the age gap if we were to wait longer. But he kept reassuring me about the fact that we have two the same age and if they were different ages, it wouldn’t be weird for us to have waited this long. So, we continued to straddle the fence, neither one of us making a decision. UNTIL, the first day the girls started Preschool.
One day after dropping them off, we got home and sat on the couch and it was silent. No noise in the house, no mess, and we just looked at each other like… this is so weird. We freaked out and knew instantly that we were not ready to give up diapers and baby giggles just yet.
I kid to you not (and sorry for the TMI) the girls started preschool, and that same month we started trying for baby #3 (and low key hoping it wouldn’t be babies number 3 + 4, not that we aren’t completely and entirely grateful for our set of twinnies and know that all babies are absolute blessings, we’ve just lost many years of our lives after having two at the same time *insert Mom with gray hair emoji*). Anyway, we started trying on October 1st, and I had a positive pregnancy test on November 4th.
I was so sick in the beginning of my pregnancy with the girls, but it wasn’t morning sickness. I had severe flu like symptoms that just lasted forever. I got morning sickness maybe 5 times. With this baby, it was smooth sailing until about 7 weeks and then BAM, it was hell on earth.
Let me just tell you this, I’ve experienced some hard situations in my life, but being pregnant with severe morning sickness AND taking care of one or more toddlers is hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I cried daily (in hiding, of course, so the girls wouldn’t see me) because I felt so damn guilty that I couldn’t be at 100% for them as I normally was every day. I was couch ridden, running to the bathroom at all hours of the day, couldn’t keep a thing down. And then the Norovirus hit our house, and I really thought it was over for me at that point.
The girls had it, and then Matt got it, and then it hit me. At first I was like well, I get sick all day anyway, what’s the difference? But this was so, so different. I couldn’t keep an ounce of fluid down. I ended up needing to go to the ER, I had passed out during blood work from dehydration, and literally wanted to die. I just kept praying and praying for strength to get through it, and wanted to find the light so badly. The struggle was REAL.
So we got through all of that, and I had to continue through one of the busier seasons of my photography business. Turns out trying to photograph with a steady hand while you’re trying not to vomit your face off is actually quite difficult. Week 13 rolled around and I was still sick everyday with my Sea Band nausea bracelets still on my wrists and I was just like, okay, how long we doing this?
I think it was around 15ish weeks that the nausea began so subside, and I could eat like a normal person again. I could finally get back to being my normal Mama bear self.
I popped SO early with this baby, but they say your second pregnancy you tend to show a lot sooner, especially after having multiples. I can’t quite remember what I felt like around this time, and I’ve been trying to find photos of me pregnant with the girls at the same amount of weeks (but obviously there’s no time for that when you have toddlers).
So after the hellish first trimester I had, second trimester came in like a sunny day. I felt SO good, eating great, baby kicks and hiccups galore. I was looking forward to so much – so many fun things with the girls, as I want to spend as much quality time with them as I can, as it’ll never just be the 3 of us girls again. This was the first year we actually booked their birthday party at an establishment, and placed a hefty downpayment. I had already started ordering personalized items for that and placing and order for their cake/cupcakes. Their birthday is like a holiday to me – my favorite holiday of all time. I was like a kid on Christmas sending out their invitations.
But then, Coronavirus.
I’ve been a stay at home Mom since the girls were born, so staying home hasn’t been a huge shock for us. It’s more so not being able to go out to parks, play places, or even a stroll through Target (which was a regular outing for us).
And then the talk of the protocol changing at the hospitals for women in labor and delivery surfaced, and I started to freak a little bit. I cannot even fathom the idea of having to have this baby alone, and women are now doing it everyday. I can’t actually wrap my brain around it, so I frankly try not to.
When the lockdown advisories started to hit, it was extremely overwhelming. Social media can absolutely drown you, if you let it. I truly believe that it isn’t social media as a whole that’s detrimental, it’s who and what you’re following. So, needless to say, I’ve unfollowed a TON of negative sources on my newsfeed, and it’s been really mentally refreshing. I’m all set with people sharing fear mongering articles that were written by 10 year olds with no legitimate sources. All. Set.
So, here we are! 27 weeks pregnant, staying as optimistic as I can. Enjoying my sweet baby kicking and rolling around, and spending tons of quality time with my other sweet girls (and my wonderful husband). The world is kind of standing still right now, and as horrifying as some aspects of it are, there are also some really beautiful things happening, too. I’m doing my best to stay positive (and continue to pray that I won’t need to have a home birth) and praying for everyone around the world who is struggling right now. I’m grateful that baby girl isn’t due for another 3 months, and that hopefully by then, we’ll have a better grip on how things are running in the hospitals.
Goals for the next three months:
- take more milestone photos
- keep this blog updated more than once a year
- BREATHE
Choose . Happy 