After so much anticipation and pacing and waiting, it was finally time for baby Isla to join our crazy little crew – we were about to become a party of 5!
Before you have a baby, I feel like you’re just dying for someone to tell you the dead honest truth about all the little details of labor and delivery – at least that was the case for me – so now that I’ve experience both types, I’m going to share it all!
This pregnancy was so drastically different from my pregnancy with the twins. It’s not that their pregnancy was bad, necessarily, but this one was just so seamless and enjoyable.
Identical twins are considered high risk, so that comes with all types of high risk appointments, check ups and first-time-Mom worries. All the madness aside, both of those babies were happy and healthy, and I swear they could’ve stayed in my belly for 3 more months!
Also with ID twins, it is recommended to deliver them by 37 weeks for safety precautions, as they share the placenta. When I had my final check with them, Raeia was breech so we were faced with the pretty tough decision between a vaginal or c section delivery. Although my doctor said I was a good candidate for a vaginal birth, we were also fully informed that baby A could come vaginally, and then baby B could need to be delivered by section (Raeia – breech). All I cared about was their safety, and I felt that doing both styles of delivery at once could be pretty traumatizing, so we ended up opting for the section. As a first time Mom who didn’t know what to expect, I felt that the experience was pretty smooth, overall!
I had always said, however, that for my next baby I absolutely wanted to try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C section). While all births are special and beautiful in their own way, I longed for that experience of pulling baby onto your chest, instant skin to skin and a better recovery afterward. So, that was my goal for baby Isla and I was so anxious to see if we could actually make it happen!
Since we had a planned section with the girls, I literally had no idea what to expect with any signs of labor or anything like that. I also had no idea if or when I’d actually go into labor on my own. With buying a new house and the whole moving process on top of Mom life to twin 4 year olds, I swore she’d come early! But the days went on and on, and before I knew it, I was past 40 weeks. She was just way too cozy in there. I had my weekly check ups with my doctor, and each week we both just laughed because there was just no progress. I wasn’t dilated, no pelvic pain, no swelling – nothing.
So since baby girl was so comfy in there and not showing any signs of coming any time soon, we scheduled an induction for 7/14, when I would be 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Since I’d had a previous c section, I had to sign a waiver (basically signing my life away) acknowledging the potential chance of uterine rupture during birth – which means your c section scar could tear while pushing. With there being a 1% of this happening, I decided it was in my best interest to move forward with the VBAC. The benefit definitely outweighed the risk for me!
As the days lead up to induction day, I felt a little defeated and upset that my body wasn’t doing its thing on its own. I wanted so badly to go on my own because I wanted things to progress organically, and I’d read that the path of least intervention results in a faster, easier labor. But sometimes (MOST times) God works in mysterious ways – the morning of induction, at 5am on the dot, I started having contractions on my own! I was so excited but also like okay, WHOA, maybe this could slow down a bit because OUCH, haha.
I had Braxton Hicks (practice) contractions very early on with both pregnancies, and they lasted all the way until I had the babies. Toward the end of the pregnancy they got tighter, but these contractions were definitely different. The Braxton Hicks weren’t painful – these definitely were, to the point where I had to crouch down and hold something.
We headed to the hospital around 7:30am, were admitted, and by the time we got upstairs and settled it was about 9am. I had to take a COVID test, which came back negative (yay!) and was able to take my mask off for the rest of my labor. My contractions slowed a little bit, I think because I drank water and became a little more relaxed now that we were settled at the hospital (our new house is about 30 minutes from there). After talking with the nurse about our plan, we decided to wait it out and let me progress on my own for as long as possible before starting any pitocin. I walked around and bounced on the birthing ball for about two hours, and then it was time to start!
They were going to start the pitocin 2ml at a time. I got up to 6ml, and 4cm dilated and then I decided that it was time for an epidural (OUCH). I commend all Mama’s for all birthing types and plans, but man – I really give it to those who go med free because I. couldn’t. do. it. At just 4cm I was squeezing the bedrails with my eyes squeezed shut, laughing anxiously with Matt in pure fear of how much more it could hurt.
So let’s talk epidural. I had a spinal with my c section, where they just injected the medication and I was numb from below my chest all the way down. With the epidural – holy moly – much more of a process. The anesthesiologist placed the numbing med, which wasn’t too bad, but definitely didn’t tickle. Then she started poking around, it seemed like. The nurse had me hold her hands (Matt wasn’t allowed in the room during this part, he wasn’t for the spinal, either) and tuck my chin to my chest and lean forward. “Okay, going to the left, let me know if you can feel anything”. Oh, I felt it alright! Then she went in to the right (with the needle) and then the center. She placed the tube (I never knew that an epidural was a tube placed, rather than an injection) and then they taped the tubes up my back, which was so awful when they ripped them off after delivery!
So, all in all, definitely an uncomfortable experience, but once it was done, I was so relaxed and comfortable. I could still feel the tightening of the contractions, but no pain.
About an hour after, the doctor came in and said that the next step would be to break my water, but she’d give me a little bit longer to contract before doing that. So, more waiting. There was a lot of hurry up and wait throughout the day, it was exhausting, haha.
Around 7pm during one of my asleep-but-awake naps, my water broke on its own! I was so excited because it was another sign my body was progressing on its own. It was the wildest feeling, it felt like a water balloon popped and I peed the bed. But again – hurry up and wait.
Around 9pm, the doctor came in to check me. “10cm+1, time to push!” I was so relieved that I made it to 10cm (and that I couldn’t feel a thing), and baby was ready to come.
I was so ready to meet this baby, but was so overwhelmed with all these emotions. I loved feeling her in my belly, and dreaming about what she’d look like for 9 months. I put my hand on my belly and felt her little kicks for the last time. Pregnancy is so special to me, as you have your sweet babe with you wherever you go, the last one you snuggle with each night, and the first one you think about in the morning. Every morning when I woke up, I’d feel her rolling around, all her little hiccups and dance moves. It was the safest I could ever keep her, in there. But it was finally time, and my dream of a VBAC was coming true. Baby Isla was about to no longer be a dream, but a beautiful bundle of reality.
The nurse came in and explained how it would go. I was still able to feel my legs, so I could hold them and utilize them for pushing. Matt held one leg with me, and the nurse held the other. She told me to take a deep breath and hold it/push for 10 seconds, breathe out, and do it again 3 times, then take a break. She said she’d let me know when I was having a contraction, but I could actually feel them on my own, minus the pain, just tightening.
It was time for my first push, and I was so damn exhausted. It was the longest day – starting at 5am, and I wasn’t allowed to eat the entire day so I was just flat out famished. I was like, okay, I. Can. Do. This. I just closed my eyes, and pushed as hard as I could, channeling my energy and focusing on pushing down.
There were a few times where I opened my eyes and saw stars because it was so exhausting and HARD. Pushing is HARD. In the movies, they push twice and baby is out. That’s the case for some people, but definitely not all. My rib cage hurt, I was so, so hot, and I could barely keep my eyes open because I was so tired. But after 59 minutes (which felt like 15 and 3 hours all at the same time) at 10:08pm, I heard Matt say, “Oh my God, there she is”, and then heard her sweet cry. The doctor lifted her up onto my chest, and even though I felt like I was going to pass out, I held her so tightly. Her little head nestled up under my chin. I missed this skin to skin SO much. We did delayed cord clamping, and then Matt cut the cord.
This experience was so much more intimate than it was with the girls, which will forever make me sad. They were whisked away from me because I had to be stitched up and sent to recovery. Matt was the first to do skin to skin with them. With Isla, I had her with me, basically on my chest, from the moment I had her until the moment we left the hospital. I wasn’t able to breastfeed the girls right away, either, but Isla was able to latch almost immediately after she came out! We chose not to have her bathed there, as we wanted her vernix coating to stay on and nourish her skin as long as possible.
We were then taken to our room, and the snuggling began. I didn’t care how tired I was, I didn’t want to let her go. Matt and I just snuggled and stared at her. It was such a relaxing experience, and instead of both of us frantically caring for two babies, not knowing what the hell was going on, it was so much more calm. One of our favorite parts of having her was being able to enjoy each other. It’s not every day that you get to bring a sweet little angel into the world and just focus on the love, living on cloud 9.
Since we had the girls at home and the baby and I had to stay for the full 24 hours (wouldn’t be able to leave until the next night at 10:08pm so we had to stay until Thursday morning), we decided to have Matt head home to be with the girls, so he left Wednesday around dinner time so I’d only be there that night and he’d pick me up in the morning with the girls. I was a little nervous for him to leave, especially since they told us that with the COVID restrictions, once he left he wouldn’t be able to come back – a little stressful. But it was really nice having one on one time with the baby, and taking it all in.
I brought a million and one outfits to the hospital for her, but ended up keeping her in her long sleeved cozy outfit that was provided, because I just wanted her to be cozy and comfy. I bought a matching robe and onesie set specifically for photos – that we didn’t end up taking, haha. Mom life, to a T!
We’ve been home and settled now for a month. How it has been a month? I couldn’t tell you! I swear, once you have kids, time slips away from you at lightning speed. Being a Mama is so overwhelming, even suffocating at times, but I can tell you that there’s nothing in this world or any other that I would trade this for. It’s the hardest job, a 24-7/3-6-5 job that can rip you to shreds and bring you to your knees, but those little smiles and tiny hugs; the “Mama, I love you”‘s and the way they run to you and say they need you – and only you, the way their little hands fit inside yours as you watch them drift off to sleep in the most comforted way knowing that you’re there with them. It’s the way you get to watch them grow, and have them as your little best friends forever; the fact that no matter the type of day you’re having, you can always count on them for those one-in-a-million snuggles that solve all your problems instantly.
There’s nothing I love more than being a Mom. I don’t care about fancy things or having luxurious items. The only thing that matters to me is time; any second, minute, hour that I get to spend with my babies, is gold.
So, not to flip the topic (and apologies in advance for some oversharing – I told you I’d be candid!) – but that ever so popular question, “Does everything go back to normal?”. I think every girl wonders this and has fears about it in one way or another, I know I did, for sure! But, I can tell you that in my experience, it did! Everything feels exactly the same as it did before (with a big help from daily kegels/pelvic floor exercises). I also didn’t feel like the postpartum experience in that area was as bad as I thought it’d be. Padsicles (frozen maxi pads) and Earth Mama Peri Spray were my best friends! There was a lot of pressure for a couple of weeks, but at 4 weeks postpartum today, it really feels like nothing ever happened down there. Hooray!
It’s wild to type all of this as I sit here, watching my baby sleep soundly in her bouncer; sitting in the same spot that I’d sit in every night, rubbing my belly. I’m so relieved that we had such a good experience, despite the COVID chaos that I was so incredibly stressed out about for months. She is here, she is healthy, and we are so, so grateful.
If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading! If you’re an expecting Mama, I wish you the very best of luck with the upcoming arrival of your sweet babe, and I’m SO excited for you to experience this type of love!
Choose . Happy 